Music by Mommies

By:  Barbara Fine Buxbaum

Why does my 10-year-old son insist on wearing shorts all the time, even in winter?

I know we’ve had a mild winter this year, to say the least, but still there have been days with temperatures in the 30′s and 40′s. And, every single day my boy has begged me to let him wear shorts. He explained that school is hot and everyone else wears them. I’m not so sure about that but I do know that many boys feel this way and that the young, “cool” gym teacher always has them on. They are following his lead.

I was assured a long time ago by my children’s pediatrician that it isn’t cold weather that makes people sick so much as it is germs spread through touching. On top of that, I’ve come to the conclusion that as a mom I’ve got to choose my battles wisely.

So, I’ve relented.  Specifically I’ve said that if it is under 45 degrees, he must wear long pants.  Above 45 degrees means he is free to wear shorts.  

He’s held me to it.  And, because we’ve had day after day of non-winter weather, my son has worn shorts practically every day.  And as a result, I’ve wondered what the teachers are thinking.  Do they think I am neglectful or dumb?  Do they think that I am a pushover or overindulgent?

And what if my mother, their grandmother, witnessed this?  She lives 30 miles away and has no idea of his dressing habits.  If she did know, I wouldn’t hear the end of it.  I remember the way she bundled me up as a child, always insisting I wear a hat and gloves.  I could barely move my arms, there were so many layers of clothes on me.

Have times changed that much?  This winter has been a strangely warm one so I’ve given in to my child’s wishes pretty easily.  But in general, why are we softer on our kids than our parents were on us?  Is it that our parents were overprotective or are we overindulgent?  

Even with the doctor’s advice about how germs are spread I can’t believe it is good for any child to expose themselves to cold again and again. What’s a mother to do?

Download the “Get Dressed” song at: www.musicbymommies.com

By Barbara Fine Buxbaum

Co-writer of the song “Eat” and other “Songs for your Busy Day” by Music by Mommies, www.musicbymommies.com

On most days, my kids don’t want to eat the same meal as my husband and me.  I tried everything to get them to eat freshly roasted chicken or succulent steak, potatoes and asparagus.  But to my dismay, my 7 and 9 year-old consistently prefer to eat chicken nuggets, pasta or grilled cheese.

While trying to persuade them to eat more “grown-up” meals my kitchen had become a battleground and I a mommy-nag, “Please taste it, just one bite,” I’d say over and over.  Or I would bribe them, “if you take two bites, I’ll let you stay up a little later tonight.”

In the back of my mind, I worried about turning into my own mother who throughout my life couldn’t help but nag us to eat.  While growing up, my friends actually joked about how a fruit bowl followed us around the house.  I feared that if I kept up these tactics, I would turn my kids against food altogether. I didn’t want them to develop eating disorders because of me.

My husband says I should just serve them whatever we eat and if they are hungry enough, they will eat.  If not, they’ll have another chance in the morning.  Easier said then done.

All things considered, I finally threw in the towel, relenting to serve two separate meals, and sometimes three because my son likes different things than my daughter.  Am I doing the right thing?  Am I being too indulgent? Are they getting the nutrition they need?

These are questions I continue to think about.  Plus, I don’t like having to do all of the extra work involved in preparing multiple meals. Yet as time goes on, I’m beginning to feel like this phase just might be temporary.  Perhaps I can give my kids the foods that they enjoy while slowly moving them in a new direction.

What I am doing to transition my kids into grown-up eating:

1)  I’m starting to incorporate new foods into the old stand-bys as well as injecting nutritious items into their selections.

• Although my kids don’t eat most vegetables, my daughter likes raw carrots, especially when they are dipped in cream cheese or dressing.  My son likes raw cauliflower and both eat broccoli.
• They refuse to eat baked potatoes but now enjoy fluffy mashed potatoes.
• My son likes V8 Fusion juices (which have fruit and vegetables in it) and they will drink fruit smoothies with small amounts of vegetables hidden in them which I blend at home.
• My children love eggs, a great source of protein.

2)  I’ve found that my kids are more apt to try new foods outside of our home.  So I now identify the foods they have enjoyed on play dates, in camp or even at school and then prepare them at home.

3)  I often make cooking a family activity, such as having my children create their own pizzas and use healthy toppings.  This brings them into the process and enables them to take pride in what they are eating.

4)  I arrange foods into fun shapes and figures, like making a face on a plate.

5)  I look at kid-friendly websites and recipe books and have taken cooking classes to find new meal ideas.  Here are some links to get you started:

For Every Day

http://www.superhealthykids.com/

http://allrecipes.com//Recipes/everyday-cooking/family-favorites/Main.aspx

For Busy Moms

http://www.kitchendaily.com/chef-lauren-braun-costello/

http://mealmakeovermoms.com/

Ideas for Lunches

http://stepbystepcc.com/recipe.html

Recipes for Snow Days

http://momrecommends.about.com/od/feedingthefamily/tp/7-Kid-Friendly-Recipes-For-Snow-Days.html

For the Pickiest Eaters

http://www.thesneakychef.com/

Food Allergies and Gluten Free

http://www.parenting.com/article/great-recipes-for-kids-with-food-allergies-21391774

http://glutenfreecooking.about.com/od/breakfast/tp/glutenfreebreakfastrecipes.htm

6)  Finally, I sing or play the Music by Mommies Eat song before and during meals.

http://itunes.apple.com/ie/album/songs-for-your-busy-day/id269531714

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/musicbymommies

www.musicbymommies.com

If you have recipes or food tips you’d like to share, please submit your entries and we will review them for posting on our blog.

I’ve got mixed feelings now that it’s back to school time. On the one hand I’m glad my seven and eight year olds will be back to their routine of getting on the bus each day, going to school and participating in after-school activities like piano lessons and sports. They will have tighter schedules and I will have my own free and uninterrupted time. I look forward to working on my own projects, getting things done around the house and having more time to take care of myself.

On the other hand, while having the children home for the month after camp ended, we all enjoyed a looser schedule than we do during the school year. We woke up later, were spontaneous in how we spent our days and played it all more by ear. Because of this, and because of my spunky kids, I found myself in new and different places and situations.

For example, one day we went fishing using their homemade rods (paper clips connected to twine) with which they miraculously almost caught a turtle. We made impromptu visits to the beach where I discovered how fearless my son is body surfing the waves and where we buried each other in the sand. We spent time with cousins we normally don’t see too often and went row-boating at Bear Mountain. We even hunted for snails at the local park and the kids argued over who caught more.

Most importantly, my children and I engaged in spontaneous conversation that unfolded during the course of our more relaxed days, and through which we learned more about each other. I shared anecdotes of my own childhood which I haven’t thought about in a long time, I listened with a keener ear to what they had to say and connected in closer ways then I’ve been able during the more hectic school year.

There was something very special about this summer and although I happily look forward to the year ahead, I am sad that it is over.

By Barbara Fine Buxbaum, Music by Mommies, Inc.

See our website http://www.musicbymommies.com for more information about our songs which help children through their back-to-school routines.